April 15, 1942
"Where are you wandering around so much?"
Seeing my father after a long absence was always a tense moment. Choi Beom-gyu couldn't be there. There was only "Endo Yamato." His father had changed his son's name faster than any other Korean, and he had also changed the family name. Where the Choi clan had vanished, the Endo clan had firmly taken root.
“It seems like you’ve been hanging out with Koreans a lot lately.”
“It’s nothing…!”
Suddenly, with some courage, his voice came out loud. His father, who had never heard his son yell so loudly before, furrowed his brow and urged him on.
“I’m just… curious.”
“Don’t be so curious anymore. You know what the world is like now, but you’re foolish.”
Then, his father paused, as if pondering something, then put down the teacup he was holding. He then stood up, his back to Yamato. To Yamato, his father felt like a huge wall. His father, Endo Tadayoshi, formerly Choi Si-hyeong, was a tall and imposing man, but to his son, he was even more so. Tadayoshi seemed to be squeezing his thoughts for a moment, then slowly opened his mouth.
“I don’t… have many… roles to play… (No… maybe… it could be helpful…”
"What does that mean? (그게 무슨 말이십니까?)"
You become a spy.
My heart sank before I could even begin to marvel at the fact that my father spoke Korean. I couldn't help but be speechless at the thought that my father was such a despicable person.
“Father…what is that…?”
"I've known for a long time that you were hanging out with those independence activists. Governor-General Jiro himself said you were hanging out with the Bulyeongseonin. I think you know what that means. Is it even possible to shun Japan? I have no intention of destroying the family I've inherited, calling myself a traitor, just because of a son I raised poorly. Honey, you should become a spy."
“I can’t…it’s undelivered and I can’t…”
How on earth could he have known that? But Yamato didn't have time to think about that. The father didn't even blink at his son's tears. His father, who had been standing with his back to him, turned and approached him. A heavy, heavy hand touched Yamato's cheek, causing him to collapse unsightly on the floor. How could a man be so weak? Tadayoshi chuckled. His eldest son, like a cripple, only spoke in halting Japanese. Despite the twenty years he had raised him, Tadayoshi despised Yamato.
"Are you saying you're only going to survive now? Do you want to see your mother die? It's already been 40 years since Joseon was taken over. Honey, we have to follow the new path. Even if you fire a few shots, Joseon won't become independent. Countless people have taken up arms, talking about independence. But have any of them ever succeeded?"
The father looked down at his son with cold eyes.
"Never, not even once. The Empire of Japan won't be shaken by those who dream such vain dreams. Don't you understand this yet? No matter how hard we struggle, independence will never come! Joseon, what kind of country is this that can't even protect its own people? And yet you insist on stubbornly clinging to your beliefs? Do you want to live so foolishly that you'll end up destroying not only your body but your entire family?"
"No, even if Joseon could become independent," my father said.
“Do you think you can be a part of it?”
“……!”
"You can't do anything. Do you wish you could speak Korean? Do you wish you could write Korean? As a man born and raised in Japan, all you can do is fire a few shots. Do you think they'll trust you, a man whose father calls him a traitor?"
“I will believe…I will believe…”
His father's face paled at the sporadic Korean he spoke, like a child learning to speak for the first time. How could you…? Yamato, or rather, Choi Beom-gyu, stood up and looked straight at his father.
“I will make you believe…”
He couldn't bear to admit it. He didn't want to admit it. It was too cruel for him to see everything he'd built so long crumble at the hands of his father. His face, which had briefly turned pale, returned. He slapped his son's cheek once more. Choi Beom-gyu returned to Yamato. Then his father grabbed Yamato's hair and spoke to him, one word at a time.
“Become a spy.”
April 17, 1942
“Hello everyone!”
A high-spirited voice echoed through the base. Everyone's faces lit up and they turned their heads to follow the voice. "Hey, Jjenggugi!" Jimin was the first to rise and greet him. Namjoon greeted him with a bright smile. Yoongi followed. Yeonjun flicked his smoking cigarette in greeting.
“It’s been a while.”
“I said I’d come, but I guess I’m late.”
As the members exchanged greetings, Seokjin stood up from his seat.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to visit the base often in the future.”
Everyone turned to Taehyun, their words like cold water poured over them. However, Taehyun was equally flustered. Taehyun tried his best to remain calm and stared at Seokjin.
“Someone in the family found out.”
“Who is it that knows?”
"…nurse."
Seokjin clenched his fist. For over twenty years, she had devotedly cared for him in place of his busy mother. Therefore, Seokjin couldn't bring himself to shoot her. It was just a rumor, spreading among the servants, but the young woman had seen the truth behind it. So, of course, it was right to eliminate it...
“It doesn’t seem like you’re the type to go around talking carelessly, comrade.”
“I saw the tattoo. I was taking a bath.”
Subin thought for a moment and then raised his hand.
“Still… I don’t think killing is right.”
“I wonder if there’s something wrong.”
Should I recite the rules of our Korean Youth Association again? Yeonjun said in a very displeased tone. Article 8: Any outsiders who witness the group are to be shot immediately. Soobin glared at Yeonjun for a moment, but then spoke again in a firm voice.
"Of course, Comrade Choi's words are correct. However, you should not ignore the clause preceding it. Clause 5. You must make every effort to protect yourself and your group, but not if it results in the death or injury of women, the elderly, or children."
"Subin is right. Since it's a higher-level provision, I think it's right to follow it."
Namjoon intervened. Seokjin listened, head bowed like a criminal, as the conversation continued. It was about to escalate into an argument.
“This is why they call themselves enlightenment activists.”
“Are you done talking?”
"You said you'd do anything for your country, but if you can't even do something this simple, how can you possibly hope to shoulder the burden of a greater cause later on? Remember, Young Master. This isn't child's play. This isn't a novel you're scribbling down. You're just desperate to make a little show of independence movement—"
"stop!"
Yunki screamed. The base, once filled with the noise of an explosion, became quiet. A broken teacup lay at Yunki's feet.
“You’re not even a bastard, what are you doing!”
Listen carefully, this is war. As the leader of the independence army, I'm used to battle. Do you know what will happen if you all stick to your own opinions and divide like that? Kill every single one of them. What can the soldiers for Korea achieve if they are scattered like this! Yoongi spoke in a booming voice. Next to him, Jeongguk nodded vigorously. Have you already forgotten what our greatest goal and the first article of our organization's rules were? Article 1 of the Korean Youth Association! For the independence of Korea, we will all unite without hesitation and with all our suffering! Isn't that the very organization rule you're talking about?
“…I think killing someone is excessive.”
Taehyun spoke. Yeonjun chuckled as if he'd expected that, and sat down on the sofa with a stern expression. A cigarette hung from his lips.
"Okay. At least now I think we have some idea of how our group views independence."
"Isn't it okay to keep watch, my lord? You never know where that nanny might go and what she might spout?" Seokjin nodded. He'd been afraid of an order to kill, but thankfully, it ended with surveillance, which was a relief. Still, he couldn't be overjoyed. Seokjin tried to ignore the stagnant atmosphere caused by her. Why, since returning home, all he'd done was cowardly evade.
“I made a fool of myself. I’m sorry.”
Seokjin approached Jeongguk, who was crouching near the fireplace, and stroked his round head. He said it had been almost seven years since he'd held a gun. At Seokjin's voice, Jeongguk, who had been sitting quietly, lifted his head and looked up at Seokjin. Seokjin smiled.
“I heard from Comrade Min that you were born and raised in Manchuria.”
"you're right!"
“Is this your first time in Gyeongseong?”
"No! I came once during the Korean Youth Association pledge ceremony! I came once during a regular meeting of the Korean Youth Association!"
Seokjin felt an inexplicable sense of freshness at the voice full of energy. He stroked Jeongguk's head once more and spoke again in a soft tone.
"How about we go sightseeing in Gyeongseong together? It's been ten years since I've been there."
Jungkook nodded quietly. Seokjin took Jungkook's hand and walked the streets of Gyeongseong. It was beautiful. The dusky sunset began to fade, and streetlights came on one by one. People walked down the street, laughing and chatting, and occasionally, when they saw a yellow military uniform, both of them would startle. There was a boy who had all this stuff buried deep in his wide eyes, and another who still couldn't shake off the desperate cry. As they walked, holding hands, Seokjin suddenly realized that the boy's hands, barely past the age of seventeen, were quite rough. Of course, his hands were as beautiful as a girl's, having spent all his days sitting at his desk studying. His clothes, immaculately washed, were no different from the clothes he'd seen on boys in America. They'd heard he was an independence army general, but Min Yoongi seemed to have a knack for housekeeping. So, Seokjin made a resolution. He would protect this boy's spring. He should have thrown it all away, but what if he kept cherishing it? Seokjin smiled inwardly. Jungkook, who had grown up under strict parents, said his first memory of them was shooting guns together. If a vendor hadn't appeared with a stack of candy packages around the time he was getting a little serious, Seokjin might have seen the boy's dark side. He glanced at Jungkook, who was gazing at the candy packages with a twinkle in his eye, a little grateful for that.
“Do you want to eat?”
“No! They say that a man doesn’t enjoy sweets!”
“What should I do? I guess I’m not a real man.”
Seokjin bought a package. The merchant bowed to him, feigning familiarity. After walking a little further, Seokjin took a red-striped candy from the package and put it in his mouth, smiling kindly. Jeongguk also took a bite, mumbling. "We're going back to Manchuria tomorrow," Jeongguk said in passing.
“Take this.”
Seokjin bought some new candy and handed it to him. It was a gift. Jeongguk's face lit up with happiness upon receiving the package.