When the yellow sun smiles

When the Yellow Sun Smiles Episode 6

A place left under the moonlight



‘Tonight, I have a confession to make.’

Noah's words were like the last drop left in the cup.
It hung on the tip of my chin and didn't fall off.

When I raised my head, the lanterns were still flickering.

Seo-ryeon's red skirt,
Blessings of the people,
The phrase “a well-matched couple”.

And Noah's last words on top of it all.

confession.

“Baby, you must be very tired…”

The voice of Sohwa, approaching from behind, was cautious.
I barely put down my glass and turned my head.

“It’s okay. It’s still okay.”

“You don’t look okay.”

The look in Sohwa's eyes was one of knowing how long I had been silent tonight.

“…I’ll be there in a bit.”

After saying that, he walked to the end of the veranda.

The point where there is a brief moment of darkness between the lights.
Standing on that border, I was a little confused as to whether I was a person of light or of shadow.


I lowered my body as usual.
Words I've heard since I was little came to mind.

‘You are a middle-aged man, so don’t raise your head too high.’
‘Keep the manners of a nobleman, but don’t act like one.’

The people of Doseong call our house
It was called “a precious house among the nobles.”

However, the line dividing social classes was thinner and more cruel than expected.

I was the daughter of such a house.

A person who wears the same clothes as the noblewomen, but cannot sit in the same seat.

And yet, I am the fiancée of the Left State Councillor—

“Those words… are really heavy.”

Suddenly, I muttered again the same words I had said to Noah earlier.

While saying it is heavy, there is another meaning hidden in that word.
I never took it out.

I am not tall enough to stand there.
I am not bright enough to stand there.

A breeze blew gently.
That was when.

“I thought it would be around here.”

A low, familiar voice cut through the darkness between the lamps.

When I looked up, Noah was standing not far away.

It was a different face from the one I saw in the center of the bright banquet hall.
The remaining light from the lamp dimmed, making him seem a little quieter.

“Have all the people gone back?”

“Most of them.”

He looked around once and added softly.

“It seems like there are only two people left.”

“…there’s also digestion.”

“Then three people.”

I chuckled.
Rather than laughing, his expression was closer to catching his breath while pretending to laugh.

Noah was silent for a while.

The firecrackers stopped, and the distant drumbeats disappeared. Only the sound of rickshaw wheels could be heard outside the garden.
It seemed to say that today wasn't over yet.

“I came to keep my promise.”

Noah spoke first.

I understood that right away.

That promise.

“You said it was a confession.”

"okay."

“You said you didn’t love me.”

“I meant to save that for last.”

“…Is it valuable enough to be saved?”

“I’ll give it to you if you allow me.”

I leaned my back against the pillar and raised my head.

The moon was half-cut between the lanterns lined up high.

“So, what kind of confession do you plan to make today?”

Noah seemed to catch his breath for a moment.
A faint light descended over his profile.

“The reason I left.”

The center of my chest felt hot and pulled.

I slowly turned my head towards him.

My expression was reflected in Noah's eyes.
Surprise, tension, and… old wounds.

“…Does the reason you left have anything to do with me?”

I asked cautiously.
That question was the first to come out of my mouth.

A word that has been spinning around in my mind for years.

‘Did you leave because of me?’
‘Or did he leave without me knowing?’

Either answer was cruel to me.

Noah neither nodded nor shook his head.
Instead, I just spoke honestly.

"there is."

It was a short answer, but it was more meaningful than any congratulatory speech I heard today.
It hit my chest even harder.

“The person who was originally to succeed the Left State Councillor’s family was my father.”

Noah's voice was calm.

“But my father and mother left too early.”

Just from those words, I felt like I could vaguely picture the long history of this family.

A person who should have been the pillar of the Left State Councillor's household
The story of a young grandson who came forward in place of that person.

“My grandfather wanted me to be a pillar from a young age.”

Noah looked up at the sky once.

“Protecting the family isn’t something you can do alone.”

“Marriage is also… one of those powers.”

I continued speaking cautiously.

He gave a short laugh.

“Yes. Weddings always come with power.”

The wind blew once more.

“Yeah.”

He called my name.
A little lower, very clear.

“When your grandfather first said he wanted to marry into your family—”

He paused for a moment.
And then he smiled brightly.

“I quite liked it.”

“…Who is it? Confucius, the Left State Councillor.”

“Both.”

Those words strangely seemed to tickle my heart.
I blinked.

“Even if your house is a middle-class one, it is a house where you visit the royal palace and the painting studio. A house where you paint the king’s face with a brush.
“A house that leaves history in pictures.”

He continued speaking slowly, as if recalling a memory from my childhood.

“In the eyes of the nobles, it must have seemed like a more trustworthy house than any other nobles.”

I remembered the sign hanging in front of my father's studio door.

‘Leaving the world behind through paintings.’

Every time people pass by that door
I would raise my head every now and then to read it.

“It wasn’t a marriage that would expand power, but it was a good connection to the house that kept the records—
“That’s what my grandfather thought at first.”

“…At first?”

“Yeah. At first.”

He exhaled briefly.

“As time passed, the Yun family gained much more power.”

The hem of Seo-ryeon's red clothes flashed through my mind again.

A smiling face under the red lantern.
People's gazes naturally turned towards her.

“This is Miss Yoon Seo-ryeon’s family.”

"okay."

“So… you asked me to change my wedding partner?”

Noah was as calm as a man telling the truth.

“He said that the pillars of the Left State Councillor’s house must not shake.”
“If I marry Yoon, I will have a place in the court.
“It can be made stronger… that’s what my grandfather thought.”

I bit my lip.

So where was my name in that calculation?

“So… you told me to abandon you.”

Noah looked at me.

His eyes darkened slightly, but he didn't avoid it.

“I heard that—”

He spoke quietly.

“…refused.”

“I refused.”

“So I set out to study abroad.”

The wind blew strongly once.
The lights flickered together and then returned to their original positions.

I was speechless for a moment.

I knew he was gone.
I also heard from people that he went to study abroad in China.

But I've never heard of any reason being given for it.

“Then… Confucius refused to marry Yun Ga.
“Did you go to Qing?”

“That’s not the only reason.”

“Then?”

“I wanted to show a way to protect the Left State Councillor’s family without marrying Yun Ga.”

He continued in a quiet tone.

“I didn’t want to be the one who had to rely on marriage for strength.
A person who gains strength by breaking his promise with you
“I didn’t want to be like that anymore.”

“…….”

"That's why I left. I wanted to build my own power and show that I could lead this family even without the Yoon family."

I looked at him.

Every single sentence sounded plausible.

As the successor to the Left State Councillor's family.
As someone who wants to protect the family.

But in reality, I wasn't in the empty space between those words.

“…But why did you leave without saying a word to me?”

Noah's eyes seemed to deepen once more.

I didn't stop talking.

"Why, you didn't say anything to me. You said you left because you wanted to keep your promise to me."

The sound of my heart beating rang in my ears.

“It wouldn’t have been that difficult to leave a letter when you leave.”

Noah did not answer.

For a while, only the sound of the wind passed under the floor.

“…I was so young back then.”

He opened his mouth with difficulty.

“That’s why I was scared.”

“What is it?”

“What if you cry when I tell you I’m leaving?”

I swallowed my breath.

“If you hold on—I felt like I couldn’t leave.”

Those words came like an arrow flying from an unexpected direction.
It pierced my heart.

“So I was abandoned?”

I asked quietly.

Noah shook his head firmly.

“I have never thrown it away.”

“You left me, saying you never abandoned me, and you left me, saying you never abandoned me
“Haven’t you ever heard from me?”

My words became thinner and thinner.

“Confucius… you say the word ‘protection’ so easily on your own.”

I made a sound that I couldn't tell if it was laughter or tears.

“Leaving behind someone who doesn’t know anything, going off on their own, making decisions on their own, struggling on their own, overcoming everything on their own—and then coming back and saying, ‘I wanted to protect you.’”

Noah didn't take a single step closer.
But that doesn't mean he backed down.

As if he were punishing himself for that distance.

"…right."

He didn't avoid it.

“At that time, that was all I knew how to do.”

“When you cried, I felt like I couldn’t leave—”

He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them.

“It was only after I left that I realized you were crying.”

I turned my head.

A thin sound of water could be heard from the pond.


“So, it’s a confession.”

Noah's voice filtered in quietly again.

“I left to protect you, but in reality, I ended up hurting you the most.”

His hand moved slowly.

The fingertips reached out towards me and stopped right in front of me.

A distance not reached.
But the heart is clearly connected.

“That is the first confession I wanted to make today.”

I looked at him, catching my breath.

The face before my eyes was unfamiliar.

Always smiling and always joking
Behind the always relaxed face

It was the first time I realized there was a shadow like this hiding there.


His confession was painful, but
The ‘meaning’ contained within it was never spoken.

You left to protect me and hurt me
So I understand until you come back.

But among all those words, the one thing I wanted to know the most was never told directly.

Is the person standing there really the ‘me’ of now?

Even after such a long hiatus, I wonder if the person he chose was really ‘me’.

I want to be reassured
I pushed my lips up first.

“..Is the wedding certain?”

At the same time I want to know the answer
A question I'm afraid to hear.

Noah said without smiling once.

“Yes. It’s already decided.”

His eyes were straight at me.

“Once you’ve been engaged, that’s enough.”

The wind blew.

A few lanterns on the pond
I trembled with the last of my strength.

“There is a tendency in the Left State Councillor’s house to push for a marriage with Lady Yun.
It is true that it still remains.”

Noah continued in a lower voice.

“But I will give the same answer this time too.”
"no."

He spat out the letters very clearly.

“My wedding partner has already been decided.”

Those words were floating in the air with nowhere to lean on

I knew it.

At the same height as the void
That my name is hanging there too.

“If you say no, I will reconsider.”

He added.

“So now it’s your turn to speak.”

“What is it?”

“The reason you hate me.”

My heart sank hard again.

“…Why are you curious about that?”

“People usually start by saying they love you.”

Noah laughed quietly.

“But I want to know why you hate me first.”

"why."

“That hatred is the reason why I couldn’t leave you,
“Because it’s touching.”

He looked straight into my eyes.

The light of the pond and the last lingering scent of the lantern were reflected together in his eyes.

“I have thought of you for as long as you hate me.”

I was out of breath.

I was speechless.
Heart and thoughts
It seemed like everything stopped at once.

“That’s all for tonight’s confession.”

Noah took his hand away.

His shadow cast low on the floor
I slowly stepped back.

“I will tell you the rest when you feel like forgiving me.”

“At that time… maybe I’ll be able to say I love you too.”

He said so and slowly turned around.


I have been
I couldn't move from that spot.

The words I heard and the words I didn't hear today
It all hit me in the chest at once.

The fiancée of the Left State Councillor's family.
The successor to the position.

Studying abroad in Qing Dynasty.

and
me.

I slowly opened my hand.
A little while ago
The place where Noah's fingertips were barely within reach
It was faintly hot.

“……I hate you, I hate you.”

I muttered to myself.

“I hate you—”

My breath was trembling.

“Even though I hate you… I made you wait like this.”

The words fell quietly at the end.
The more you try to deny it,
It seemed like recognition was rising from somewhere deeper.

Moonlight filled the space.

Tonight I
Time stopped from the day he left
It felt like I was pushed forward a little bit.

And maybe
This person I hate
Why don't I hate you till the end?
I thought I knew a little bit.

At the end of the yard, towards the pond
A thin sound of water was heard.

I hear that sound
I turned around.

Tonight's confession is only half over.

The courage to listen to the other half
When will I have it?

I still don't know.


Episode 6: A Place Left Under the Moonlight - End